‘Rage, rage against the dying of the light.’

– from Do Not Go Gentle into That Good Night by Dylan Thomas.

No, no-one died, unless you count the total and utter destruction of an old TV monitor, a radio unit and two golf clubs.

More on that later.

I had hoped to go the entire year without buying a videogame and I got to day seventeen before Cryptmaster came calling. A special Limited Run release for PS5 has been available for pre-order from 17^th January and because I am collecting physical copies of games I’ve worked on, this was obviously one I was going to buy. I’ve always felt very proud of being part of Cryptmaster. I’ve been so very fortunate to be involved with many games now and I take no opportunities for granted but it was Cryptmaster where I felt my testing rose a level as far as feedback and contribution was concerned. It was also the project where I realised I am best suited to a small team, also noted and explained very succinctly by a well-known developer over a year later, by pointing out that my voice is better heard in a smaller team. For anyone who knows me, having grown up in a household where I was always told that children should be seen and not heard, this felt like a message given by someone who had a similar experience. This is not to say I am not acknowledged but having tested games within significantly larger pools of testers (think hundreds, occasionally thousands), having to shout up over the clamour or seeing several reported bugs that I’d spent time also writing up, is a waste of my time, and that’s something, at my time of life, I grumble about.

Anyway, Cryptmaster is currently still available to pre-order on PS5 and, if you’re lucky, you may even be able to find and fight a certain Paul James in the game (if you haven’t already). I’m still waiting for someone (other than myself) to claim that victory. ⚔️

Moving on, last time I shared a couple of photos in 15 Days: Part 1, showing off a Kickstarter reward and then a piece of commissioned art, and this got me thinking about what else I might share here. Recently I’ve been reading the illustrated version of Robin Hobb’s The Farseer Trilogy which had me thinking about authors whose work has connected with me on a level I rarely find. Robin Hobb’s The Farseer Trilogy is the only one I can think of.

I was twenty years old when I discovered these books in an old second-hand bookstore. All three paperbacks cost me a total of £6 at the time. I was hooked from the first few pages. I remember starting Assassin’s Quest at 6pm one evening and when I checked the time, it was 1:30am. I hadn’t moved. I haven’t read a book that’s kept me captivated like this since. That was 24 years ago.

All these years later, if there is anything I would like to say to Robin Hobb, it’s this:

“Thank you. It reads dramatically but there’s no doubt that these books saved me from drifting too far from normality. For context, I went back to university to train as a mental health counsellor in 2017 and one of my first written assignments was around self-awareness and my life experiences. The first two lines read as follows:

‘I have had four fathers, three surnames, been a child of divorce twice and adopted once, all by the age of eighteen. It was only when I reached my mid-thirties that I’d finally had more birthdays than I’d moved house.’

My point, via this very high-level summary, is I’d not quite had as settled a life as I may have hoped. There’s no blame here anymore, it is what it is. I’ve worked through all of this and, because of these experiences, I do look at the world in a slightly different way to most people which, ironically, I think is very lucky. Anyway, the meaningful connection to these books was because, within this life summary, I never knew my father, and reading about Fitz in these books felt like the only way any of it made sense; that I didn’t feel alone in dealing with all the feelings and emotions that stem from this because Fitz was also going through it and, like him, I’d been angry and lost for a very long time. The reason I say thank you is because these books, and this wonderfully brutal and beautiful story, gave me something stable to cling onto. It gave me hope.”

I may never speak to or meet Robin Hobb, but I will say that I appreciate what they have given me, and I always will.

All of this aside, The Farseer Trilogy really is a fantastic story. I have all the books in the entire Realm of the Elderlings series, and I’d recommend you read them. When I have a moment, I’ll get a photo of the entire collection up on here.

Over the last 15 days, I’ve also been thinking about my use of social media. In recent years, I’ve been enjoying my time online. I’ve connected with many amazing and interesting people, often sharing their work as I find it on my feed. There’s so much about social media that can be truly wonderful but with the current state of the world and how I feel when I scroll through my timelines, I’m not getting any enjoyment from it. So, for now at least, I’m going to create whatever space I can on this site. I’m still on X and Bluesky but it’ll be less so for a little while, and if things don’t improve, a lot longer.

Health-wise, it’s an as-you-were since Part 1. It was my birthday recently and I was fortunate to enjoy lots of indulgent food and an occasional glass of champagne. I was actually very well-behaved during my birthday celebrations but I did struggle to get back to the healthy lifestyle just after it. As I write this, I WANT ALL THE JAM TARTS but I will resist and, in a few days, I’ll be back on track.

I also went to a rage room for the first time. That old TV monitor and radio unit I mentioned earlier? Yeah, I broke two golf clubs smashing these up. I finally let go of some of the weirdest, surprising, angry little things I was holding on to and felt fantastic afterwards. If you ever get a chance to go, my advice is to just rage, rage, rage away! It’s great fun.

And, in what must be a first for at least a decade, I had no videogames gifted to me for my birthday. Instead, I had some interesting reading material in the form of World of WarCraft magazines and Mark Lawrence’s four story collection, Missing Pages. I’m very grateful that people remember me on my birthday, and I appreciate everything I’ve been given. I’m looking forward to reading these.

Testing updates include the release of Super Roboy on 20^th January. This was a joy to test. It’s such a lovely game with a very simple but heartfelt story behind it. Recommended.

Puzzle Post came back to me for a second test, which was a lovely surprise. I’m always thankful to developers who ask for my help again. It’s a great sign that what I am doing is well-received. The same with Tall Story Games (in collaboration with Little Seeds Music) and their upcoming demo called The Adventures of a Cat in Space. I think you’ll be hooked on their theme tune faster than I can eat a whole packet of jam tarts. That’s quickly, by the way. Thank me later.

Old Skies testing continues, as does Blue Prince, both of which have announced as being released Spring 2025.

[Redacted] and [Redacted] are coming along nicely and I’m excited to write about these when the time comes, as well as [Redacted] and [Redacted]. Yeah, I know… I wish I could tell you now as well but, for what it’s worth, I think two of these aren’t very far away. Although, actually, there’s another, called Hazard Pay by Smitner Studio that I’ve had the go-ahead to share. Check it out, and if you like it, a wish-list is always appreciated.

Links to anything I’ve mentioned here can be found on my ‘Projects’ page. Speaking of which (or is that ‘writing of which’?), I also updated the page with everything I’ve done so far (that I can currently share) and noted 24 items listed. Not bad at all.

So, in summary, Cryptmaster, Robin Hobb, life experiences, social media, my birthday, jam tarts, a rage room, testing, jam tarts (again), more testing, and links.

Yeah, sounds about right for me.

Until next time, stay safe, and thank you for reading.

Paul.