June 15th to June 29th 2025

Hello again, and welcome to 15 Days: Part 12, where I write about:

• The end of the UrbX Warriors Kickstarter;
• The AdventureX announcement;
• New Evercade carts;
• Me versus Imposter Syndrome;
• Social Media additions.

First of all, I was looking back at my recent 15 Days blogs and beginning to wonder if they were really just UrbX Warriors blogs instead, such was the enthusiasm I carried in the build-up to and during the recent Kickstarter campaign. So, I thought I’d give an update on the end of the campaign and then concentrate on a few other items for a while.

• At 10pm BST on 29th June, the campaign ended with a flurry of pledges. With £6,000 needed, £33,997 was raised from 678 backers (awesome!), and I know that from everyone involved, the support received from all who backed, shared, cheered and believed in the campaign is hugely appreciated. Thank you. ❤️
• As for me, I’ll still be testing but how much I can share will be dependent on what both Stoo and Tony give the OK for and, as you know from me, I’m unlikely to give anything away that’ll spoil the game. I’ll share what I can, if I can.
• I know that late pledges are still available and you can find them at this link: UrbX Warriors Late Pledges

So, moving on, in exciting news AdventureX was announced for November and I will be there. This was the first ever event I attended as I tentatively introduced myself to the gaming industry and I am thrilled it is back. It’ll be quite interesting because, potentially, there’ll be 5+ devs there that I’ve tested for. When I think about my first, rather timid visit to AdventureX in 2022, that’s quite a journey so far. Details are via this link: AdventureX

As is fast becoming tradition (or madness; it’s hard to tell), the return to Evercade includes these two new additions!

Switching pace, here’s something I wasn’t expecting, or at least as intensely as I did a few days ago: Imposter Syndrome.

For a full Earth’s rotation, Imposter Syndrome repeatedly kicked me in the head. I battled and battled constantly, never giving in but certainly falling to my knees and using everything I could to fight it off and get back up again. Now I thought I had figured out what triggered it initially but, after some deeper reflection, I pinpointed it exactly. I’m not going to share what it was, other than I took a comment, spoken innocently, and not even to me, in a way that cast utter doubt over my ability to test games. Honestly, I seriously considered giving it all up, and for those 24 hours, I battled hard not to do so.

For anyone who isn’t familiar with imposter syndrome, the general description is the belief that success gained has nothing to do with ability or hard work but rather that it has come about from luck or in error and that, indeed, you are a fraud or imposter. This is often in spite of the fact that your success is backed up with evidence to the contrary.

And one, small, tiny comment, not even directed at me, threw me into a spin, making me think the following:

• Who am I to write about testing?
• What the hell have I contributed, in comparison to everyone else?
• I am just not good enough.
• I should give up before I get found out, or make an even bigger fool of myself.
• No-one is going to take me seriously;
• Et cetera, et cetera.

And on it went. For each negative thought, I had to fight back with:

• I have every right to write about testing. I’ve earned it. This August is four years of working really hard and being willing to learn, make mistakes, and improve.
• It’s not about comparison with everyone else. It’s about comparison with the person I was yesterday and how I can use what I’ve learned to improve; however big or small that may be;
• I fucking am good enough! Go fuck yourself. Over 30 projects worked on, game-breaking bugs identified and fixed, significant contributions made to final releases, truly awesome testimonials and so on;
• Making a fool of myself and being able to laugh at myself has probably made me more friends than I realise. Game dev is a serious undertaking but being able to find some fun in it all and be there for one another is what makes it a community;
• Being taken seriously? Some people do, some people don’t, but I promise you this, no-one has ever regretted me being on their team, not once. Not in anything I have ever done, outside or within game dev.
• et cetera, et cetera

And so it went. Imposter takes a swing; I dodge. Imposter breaks my guard and gut punches me; I stagger and fall. Imposter drives a fist down into my face; I block. I rise to my feet again and push back. Imposter takes another swing, and around we go.

Two things happened to make it stop. One, I had a few hours to myself. My mind whizzing around faster than a spinning top, I needed some quiet so I went into town to get a haircut. Then I sat in my local Caffè Nero, quietly drank a cappuccino and ate a slice of mango and passion fruit cheesecake. Two, on my way home I had the urge to buy something nice for my wife. I went to this lovely independent tea shop we like and bought something to help her relax and unwind after a hard day at work. It felt really good just to do something kind for another person. And in my heart, I knew that was what I wanted to do.

It doesn’t make a huge amount of sense but, when I woke up the next day, I felt invigorated and the imposter had skulked off somewhere. He’ll be back no doubt; after all, the imposter is me, hidden away until doubt finds its way back again but, for now, it seems kindness, quiet, and cheesecake is the cure.

To finish off this 15 Days, I’ve been creating a few more social media accounts; this time adding Facebook and LinkedIn. I don’t usually like having several accounts but I have a feeling I need to expand these a little. Having four in total feels excessive but I’m rarely let down by my instinct. Who knows? It’ll be something or nothing but anyway, expect to see some extra social links on the website to go along with X and Bluesky.

It’s a shorter blog than last time but hopefully just as good to read.